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Chris Kirkman vs Finn the human
Two blond boys with green swords duke it out to the death! Boomstick: Ahh, swords. The perfect weapon for cutting your enemy in half. Wiz: And these two use them well. Finn, the hero of Ooo. Boomstick: And Chris Kirkman, leader of the Bravest Warriors. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who will win a death battle. Finn Mertens Wiz: The land of Ooo, a land of peace and tranquility. Boomstick: Boring! Wiz: It's also has deadly monsters, dungeons and heroes. One of the greatest is Finn the human. Boomstick: HA HA HA HA! That skinny kid is their greatest hero? He looks super wea- watches Finn lift the dungeon beast and flip it into the pit. Boomstick: HOLY SHIT!!! How the hell did he do that?! Wiz: Finn is incredibly strong, being able to casually carry trees and, of course, lift that giant monster. Judging by the size of it, Finn can lift a few tonnes. Boomstick: Finn has lots of equipment, mainly swords. Wiz: In total Finn has 6 main swords, but for this fight we'll only be giving him 1. Boomstick: Awww. Well aside from swords Finn has other equipment too. He has the ultimate wizard cloak, which gives him magic powers. Wiz: Vorpal hand turns Finn's hand into a sword, and tiger claw gives him, well... a tiger's claw. Boomstick: Beautius wings give Finn the power of flight, while blazing feet turn his feet on fire... for extra speed, I guess? Wiz: Finn is also a master of fridjitsu, which gives him the ability to use ice ninja magic. Boomstick: Finn now has a robot arm and a rapier. But when things get to tough, Finn can use the combo move. Wiz: The combo move is basically a video game cheat code in real life that either sends the victim inside BMO or kills them. Boomstick: Damn! With that kind of power why is he in this fight? Wiz: Of course, Finn has his fair share of weaknesses. He is, in simple terms, an idiot. He never went to school and, as a consequence, struggles to answer simple questions. Boomstick: But Finn has still done some amazing things, like the time he defeated Orgalorg, a Space God. He can start fire with his bare hands and has fought monsters since he and Jake were kids and doesn't even have scars. Damn, that's cool. Wiz: Finn may be dumb, but don't underestimate this teen hero. Finn: "What time is it?" Finn and Jake: "Aaaaaaaaaadventure Time!!!" Chris Kirkman Wiz: The year 3083, the earth is an unpopulated hunk of rock, while mars is overpopulated. Boomstick: Man, I bet that makes Martian real estate a terrible business. Wiz: Anyway, back to the story. Two years before the events of the series, the Bravest Warriors parents, the Courageous Battlers, became trapped in the see-through zone. Boomstick: Boring! Skip the mushy stuff and get to the weapons! Wiz: Chris Kirkman is the de-facto leader of the Bravest Warriors, and, as such, has many weapons. Boomstick: Such as his trademark sticker pet, a- a BEE! A FUCKING BEE! HOW DID HE GET SUCH A BULLSHIT WEAPON! Wiz: The sword is incredibly sharp, being able to cut through most things easily. However, Chris lost the sword in a battle, so we won't include it. Boomstick: Aww. Well Chris also has telekinesis. For emotions. Wiz: Chris is destined to become an emotion lord, who are basically time-travelling half-gods. Boomstick: That's kinda unfair, don't you think? Wiz: Well, emotion lords are kinda, well... insane Emotion Lord: Hey there giant guys! 500 chocolate puppies! Chocolate puppies appear out of no-where. Boomstick: Wha- where did these come from?! Emotion Lord: I can't seem to find my mex victory hat anywhere? Boomstick: THAT'S IT!!! A shotgun is heard firing. Emotion Lord: I'm an emotion lord, dummy! You can't kill me without the emotion sword! Suddenly a pair of socks appear out of no-where. Emotion Lord: Oh no, a parasox! I can't not put these on! The emotion lord disappeared. Wiz: Pretend this never happened and continue with the battle? Boomstick: Agreed. Wiz: Well Chris is strong enough to defeat all of his future emotion lord selves AT ONCE. However, his weapon is also his greatest weakness. The Emotion Sword is the one known thing that can kill an emotion lord. Boomstick: You don't want to mess with this teen. Chris: Come out and face me, villain!!! PreFight Finn, Jake and BMO are sailing back to Ooo after visiting the islands and meeting Finn's mother. BMO: Land ho! Our adventurers land back at Ooo. Finn: Ocean adventures are fun and all, but Ooo is our home. Jake: Guys I have to tell Lady I'm back. BMO: And I have to say hi to NEPTR and Princess Bubblegum! Finn: Okay, well bye! Jake and BMO go to Princess Bubblegum's castle. Finn: So... what to do, what to do. I guess I could tell Fern I'm back. Finn is walking back to the Tree Fort when a huge storm appears above him. Finn: What the- A figure is seen falling out of the sky. It is Chris Kirkman. Chris: Uuuugh. My head. Chris looks around and sees Finn. They lock eyes for a moment. Chris: Okay, whichever reality this is, it must be the worst one possible. Even the me sucks. Finn: Hey! Finn swings his rapier at Chris, who narrowly dodges. Chris: Alright, if that's how you want to do things. Chris grips the Emotion Sword as Finn goes into a fighting stance. FIGHT!!! Chris and Finn's blades clash many times until Chris's sword arm became tired, which Finn took advantage of, preforming an upward strike on Chris. Chris: Ow! Take this! Chris lifts a giant boulder and throws it with his Emotion Lord powers. Finn: Coool! Also, AAUGH!!! Finn takes a rope out of his bag and lassos Chris after jumping up onto the boulder. The two begin to swordfight again. Finn sweeps Chris onto the ground before jumping off the boulder right before it hit the ground. Finn: Well he's Glob's problem now. Suddenly the boulder explodes and Chris charges at Finn, without a scratch. Finn: What?! Are you a demon or something? Chris chases Finn to some train tracks. Chris: That is enough! Come out and face me, villain! Finn: Grrrah!!! Chris: Raaaaa!!! Finn swung his sword while Chris fired his glove lasers. Finn: "cough cough." Uuugh. My head. Chris: I'll let you live this time. Now if you excuse me, I have a train to catch. Finn sees the train was almost there and got an idea. Finn: Yeah? Well here's you're TICKET!!! Chris: Wait wha- AAUGH!!! Finn kicked Chris into the path of the train, which led to him being run over. Finn: Goodbye. Suddenly, the train is physically lifted off the ground. Finn: Seriously?! How much can this guy take?! Chris: Up yours! Chris throws the train at Finn. Chris: Well, that's him done with. Suddenly the train was physically lifted off the ground by Finn, who now had a physic arm. Finn: Baby is fighting a weird blond guy, who just killed some candy peeps. Blond guy just can't die, but baby's gonna try, to just rip blond guy's heaaaad off! Finn rips the ground out from Chris's feet, who manages to hover in the air. Finn starts to build a giant Finn out of dirt, rock and pieces of the train. Chris: God, this guy's insane! Raaaah!!! Chris charges at the giant Finn with the Emotion sword. Their fists and blades clash for what seems like hours until Chris destroyed the giant Finn, but not before he loses his sword. Chris and Finn each physically call for the sword. Chris and Finn: Grrrrrrrrrh... Suddenly the sword rushes to Finn's normal hand, who charges towards Chris and punches him as hard as he could with the Finn arm, which hit Chris so hard he burst apart. Chris: Uugh. Finn picks up Chris's head. Finn: I'm sorry it had to come to this. Finn throws Chris's head into the air and destroys it with the Emotion Sword. K.O!!! Finn remakes his robot arm and takes the Emotion Sword and his rapier before the Finn Arm disappeared Boomstick: Wait what was that thing at the end? Wiz: That was the Finn Arm, the physic arm Finn gets when he wants to do something evil, 'EXTREMELY '''bad. Boomstick: Oh. Well Finn pretty much destroys Chris in every way except endurance and intelligence, which he can just cancel out due to his massive strength. Wiz: And before anyone starts raging in the comments section that Chris can just destroy Finn with his physic abilities, no. Just, just no. At best, Chris can defeat his future selves at once, but Finn could most likely destroy all of them easily, not to mention the Parasox Pub and whatever planet it's on, in a few minutes. Boomstick: I guess you've got to ''hand ''it to Finn, it was very ''emotional for us all. Wiz: The winner, is Finn the Human. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Sword' themed Death Battles